The energy debris from others can is especially troublesome for empathic people. ENERGY BLOCKAGES can take many forms, and our bodies reactions to them can appear as pain, discomfort and illnesses.…
Source: Removing Armour … Weight balance
The energy debris from others can is especially troublesome for empathic people. ENERGY BLOCKAGES can take many forms, and our bodies reactions to them can appear as pain, discomfort and illnesses.…
Source: Removing Armour … Weight balance
Some 16+ years ago the Oak in the distance here the little one standing in the line and on its own in the field, got struck by lightning.
Since then this pile of burnt wood has been added to every year and burnt, over and over again, yet still there is the main part of the old Oak, charred and black, but they can not get it to burn away it just smoulders a little ..
For many of those years I would wonder past and the old Oak and its also lightning struck friend, the one closer to the attempted fire pit admiring their beauty and stature size and wonder, because I could feel life.. but saw non for years ..(wrote about this before too, in Lightning Oak .. Mama Natures LIGHT bells toll in ORBS and Rainbow rays back in the summer of 2014)
Then about 6 years ago they started to get new shoots, leaves and branches, both at the same height. So the Oak has a new canopy over its hollow blackened insides.
Its stunning and always filled with light beings and orbs. The Chestnut has a new canopy skirt 🙂 . They are still just budding at the moment, but I can see that this year they will have expanded their new growth and greenery quite a bit. Life sure is magical.
I find Nature.. LIFE .. Creation beyond amazing … precious beyond measure .. and the best part.. WE ARE MADE OF THAT ♡∞
WE are the same magical wondrous LIFE and CREATION in motion.
I find that I am misunderstood a bit when I say that HEALING ANYTHING IS EASY .. (could be the capital letters n the dots LOL, I’m working on weeding out that bad habit. Having the red lined pages of my book back, most of which are for all my writing idiosyncrasies of dots n capitals ..and ooo my favourite words … OH ay mama who new my respect for editors and more would sore in the process of writing, not to mention teaching my own self new tricks in place of old bad habits, that might have been useful to stop my dyslexia at least in English, now its only present in Norwegian LOL).
The misunderstandings though isn’t about that, its mainly about the simple concept being far from what most are taught, and what the programming of society demands that children forget to become adults, so as to fit in the allotted boxes, the rules and regulations demand. When I say that I do not mean just the normal conformity boxes, but the new ones neatly carved out as “new age” and “spiritual” as well as many versions of “love and light” camouflage too, including this planet, other planets and aliens too.
Pretty much all my life I have been surrounded by all from the ultra “fluffy” “love n lighters” to the total non believers in anything but solid physicality and fighting for first place in the human race kinds. Hardcore energy vampires either end of the extreme divide so to speak, and there always will be. Unless the core root of pain, of trust has been healed, let go, or at least is in the process of being healed from within. , so the new and beautiful can take hold and bloom in our lives.
Both sides the “ultra fluffy love n lighters” and the “nothing is real but my physical self and what I am taught to see and know” brigades, as far as I have always seen and felt have the unhealed core wound, as well as the unhealed inner child present and counted for causing issues in their lives. Both sides take serious umbrage when I say, as others have said before me, all the Ascended masters for one, that healing anything is as easy as you make it for yourself. Thing is there is only the hiding behind umbrage for the fear of delving deep within oneself to heal the core wounds, and that is only because those wounds fuel the fear. Healed the bring us to inner peace and a power, life force, creations wonder and magic, and beauty, health wealth and joy beyond measure.
As our Mother Earth is ascending, her frequencies and vibrations quickening, all those core wounds are being prodded, squeezed and tickled in all on this planet. We are past the point of awakening, seeing and feeling truth, and into the healing now, which either brings inner peace health and balance or chaos. To me that’s always been an easy choice, but to many the fear of facing themselves, their own core wounds, is more scary than anything which keeps the chaos as the only option.
It is still a choice though, and free will must be honoured.
Well these 2 trees chose to live, but they had to let go of their pain first, their wounds, just like us humans, like all life.
They had healing and meditation time over the years, even when they showed no greenery at all, but the life was there I could feel it. Then when they were ready, they chose to rebirth themselves.
Now being struck by lightning and like the Oldest Oak hollowed out by flames and then be only a 100 meters or less from its old former self being burnt over and over again ..has to be though right Trees feel everything .. they communicate in feelings so F****** awful really .. but in CHOOSING the letting go of its past its found new life ❤
CHOOSING to give all its JOY and focus to the new growth and LIVE
So Yes I meant word for word what I said the other day : People who believe that they can not heal /or change something in their lives, that would change everything for them, are just firmly in their own way.
Over the last few years I have found a beautiful way of respecting that CHOICE form a distance, as I spent the first 40 years of my life, being held down and dragged under by other peoples choices for themselves, just simply because I felt so sad for them. It took some extreme pain and illness in myself before finally learning, the very hard way that you can not help anyone who is not willing to help themselves, or even those that are not willing to be 100% honest with themselves in every way.
That I mean that, does NOT mean that I judge anyone’s choices in any way, its the opposite in fact, I honour and respect all choices, even those that choose pain and suffering, I just also honour my own choice of not sinking with them trying to keep their heads above water anymore.
In a completely loving, wholly unconditional love kinda way. Best way to describe it is, it feels a bit now like when you teach a child to ride a bike . You can show them, hold them for a while, but you have to let go … let them fall .. get past their fear, choose to ride again, find their balance .. then they ride with JOY and a WOW of adventure and all the Magic to come … and never forget.
I find many get very angry when I say things like that … not as many as got angry when they had to much invested in their pain and suffering .. or anger and hatred .. to let it go mind .. now that was painful as a healer to feel towards me, took some wipe the floor with me and drag me through the hedge backwards lessons
So stepping away from all that … MAGIC beyond measure .. Only unconditional love and acceptance of all choices for me form now on ♡∞
From a healers perspective …. its physically mentally and emotionally +spiritually draining .. ouchy painful and horrid .. so I have been there .. & NO never jumping in the quagmire again to rescue someone who’s SOUL is screaming for help, but who’s EGO does not want it .. and fights ..gets furious … or runs and hides refusing to take the responsibility for themselves that will set them completely free.
As a healer from birth I hear /feel the SOULS of ALL .. through that I have been used abused ..hung drawn and quartered ..shredded and ripped apart by all those who believe they have a right to my gifts for FREE .. I have given .. they take and then they fall back into their own quagmire …
This is why I NO longer work for free ! ever! NOT even for friends, as really true friends would not ask, but would share and give a fair exchange !
Saying that I gave a lot of healing to a beautiful little child once .. no income as yet 😉 but she gave me the most beautiful and precious stones she had found along the beach .. She KNEW the POWER of FAIR Beautiful & Precious ENERGY EXCHANGE ❤ Her parents had NO CLUE! ( One of very many through the years 🙂 way to many to count )
As does the TREES up there.. in their ancient and great wisdom they know life, healing, they know real and they know truth, they know the meaning of all that is, and all possibilities that exist. They know peace and how all can have it, as does our souls, and our hearts can hear this, feel it see it, all we have to do is is listen ..and then get our ego’s/ our small selves out of our own SOULS way .. & the ALL HEALING can occur easily and fully.
& YES that INCLUDES CANCER n the rest too!
We just have to choose EASE with total TRUTH and unconditional LOVE ..which is our natural state .. who we really are ….. instead of fear that’s held so tightly by the ego in its little box.
Wishing you ALL Magical days ♡✩ Always much LOVE
I had got in the flow of writing more, but back there in December I got online to see yet again everything had yet again changed on wordpress, I found I needed to go through 3-4 steps where before ONE got me where I wanted to go, yet still all the blogging 101 and 201 as well as writing 201 were not just still on my list of blogs, but now they seemed in the way, the first I come to, while what I really want is down the list .. This was somehow topped by that weeks photo challenge from the daily post … this Oops I had screen shots ready to partake, felt a little naughty but .. thought why not ..I’ll save you the pics, cause I’m sure some or most of you are also stuck with all common rooms no longer used that you can not delete 😦
As all of us, I’m sure, I also had some other fun .. but not so great shots to add or even some good OOOOps’s for a laugh .. but then I sat there and I looked at the screen at the Oops challenge .. and all I could think was .. & this is from the editor of wordpress.. what am I doing wasting my time here.
I also started pondering why easy to find the “chosen” pressed wordpress blogs, but even with a Google search not that many blogs come up. I have to say here that the way I mostly find another wordpress blog is by accident, searching for something unrelated to wordpress and stumbling upon something interesting. Made me wonder why there is not a page where all blogs can be seen when posted, a bit like the news feed at FB or Minds or Twitter and so on .. give us all a chance .. of a major lucky dip as to what we come across and want to see more off.
Well there are beautiful issues, serious issues, funny ones, and oh so much more out there, but, I had this feeling that it would not matter what we write … if it did not fit with the “click” of most “popular” mams n dads at school, like the “in” crowd at school .. which all I really had to say to ..apart from the occasional wide eyes and raised eyebrow.. was “REALLY” ..
I got a feeling of having to have a kid, and negate my intelligence for “acceptable” topics, which is somewhat beyond horrifying to me, as being responsible for a beautiful little life .. in my book should get the intelligence and awareness of all that is essential for the beat health and well being for such a precious gift, to come out in force, to come out in force to inform themselves of all that may harm .. as well as all that is safe and beautiful, funny and joyous.
we are living in a world where big Pharma and all the petrochemical producers have been systematically harming our food and our baby and beauty products. The SCIENCE has been available for along time, but repressed, and aided by all those that do not want to know.
Just saw today that even Johnson & Johnson has now payed out 72 million recently as their BABY POWDER is LINKED DIRECTLY TO OVERRAN CANCER .. so pardon me but “REALLY”
That was a bit of an extra, didn’t mean to go there, but for way over 20 years I’ve batting my head against the walls people put up so as not to “upset” themselves .. Upset themselves with something that can save their lives ????
Free will n all, but darn its hard to witness people being slowly and painfully tortured and killed by chemo and radiation .. and their doctors demand complete obedience .. or no help … that’s murder in my opinion ..
Thing is though I know in a different way that doctors do nothing to help even when they easily can ..if you do not fit into their required box of “YES please doc” to all their poison .
NOT KNOWING or REFUSING TO simply means everyone has ticked the following boxes
box tick … yes please poison my food
box tick … yes please poison me and my children with heavy metals and other horrors in vaccines and other petrochemical medications
box tick … yes please … cut down the rain forest ..the lungs of the earth so ..the fast food giants can feed me cheep burgers filled with more petrochemicals that my body can deal with ..
& BOX TICK …. OH YES PLEASE give me pills to deal with all the BAD EFFECTS of the chemicals I eat and breathe …and lather upon my skin so I can feel even worse .. because I refuse to listen to my own body that is SCREAMING to me that it requires healing .. that it requires LOVE .. TRUTH .. and something that is REAL .. NURTURING
Illness is basically your body being DONE being disrespected by you !
What ? NOT FUNNY ..
NO it isn’t
But you give your power ..your free will to those that disrespect it FINE
but you are also giving them your children … to harm
is that also Fine by you … and ..Oh yes please box ticked ? because you prefer to stay ignorant ?
Because having been raped by a doctor at age 4 and had NO HELP from anyone .. ever .. and had nothing but disrespect form doctors ever after for refusing to fit their ticked boxes, and for insisting on finding how and where to report it properly, even though they refused to say anything about anything … I have been that child left to fend for herself, her own wounds to heal .. with not just no help.. but hindrances because I know more than they do about what is in their medicines… and that is all they do these days .. sign their name to a prescription for poison.
So my Oops
Me at 4 .. just before … OOOOPPPS … broken … unwanted … or so my mother said I would always be if I ever spoke about what happened .. told anyone … She my pap and 22 year old older brother who knew basically just ticked the box of “do nothing” “say nothing” ++
I finally found the Police man .. One person of only 2 in my whole life who has actually asked me how I am and if I am really ok .. in the right place to report it to .. not long before this last Xmas .. On my own I found him … .. before that any doctor or official I asked or wrote to .. just blocked me … IT is Now a Cold Case file .. Its a chapter done after 40+ years of being fobbed off … or asking the right questions … for refusing to allow any more harm to myself or to anyone else ..
RESPECT is earned ..and should never just be freely given away … and it should always be mutual ..
LOVE & Forgiveness is the deepest and most powerful strength !
& Healing is a total state of mind and HEART .
May I ask for extra prayers for the GOOD OUTCOME of the #CLIMATE #CONFERENCE in #PARIS .. this attack is to me obviously carried out by PAID Mercenaries ..from those who make the most money on WAR and the counties that support them and allow this nonsense ..
The attacks in PARIS is to Stop PEACE …
THAT IS NOT AN OPTION IN MY BOOK
Really seriously even without sensitivities and a deep connection to inner knowing this one is beyond OBVIOUS !
Let us Pray for TRUTH
TRUTH in ALL WAYS IS LOVE … and it is the only way to LIVE properly… HONOURABLY and with INTEGRITY ..
IN total #TRUTH
May the world be enveloped with Divine LIGHT LOVE and Protection. Especially so for Beirut, Syria, and other war torn places.. and all who have suffered and lost in any way from acts of terrorism everywhere including now Paris…, natural catastrophes as it just happened again in Japan, Chile….etc. protection for all innocent people and animals ..
May TRUTH be lit up and even more obvious to see for all .. so that those who earn billions on war .. so are warmongering and fear-mongering .. that they are seen for what they are and for what they really do .. That they are STOPPED and taken for their crimes against humanity
Pondering Value & depths of confidence … then really seeing clearly by being told a story of a Dragonfly & a Sparrow ..
hmmm well all I can say is I’ve had a couple of them weeks where I’ve looked around and wondered why I do what I do. .. at least here where I am right now … its kinda given me that burning need to be back in a city .. and not in a small place ..where weird is synonymous with … ooo are you sure we cant tie er to the stake … cause she suggests we have personal responsibility for our healing …
I’ve had clients come back to me form all over the world .. even the complete other side New Zealand … Australia .. South Africa & New York .. which is beyond Awesome & Amazing also totally humbling to the thoughts I’ve been having on n off because of being completely surrounded by suffering people … everything from cancer through the entire A to Z through to the mundane arthritis .. gout & n the like …. pain of all sorts …
to me unnecessary pain … & over the years I’ve keep trying . offering help .. which more often than not isn’t even declined .. but just simply ignored .. Its been heart breaking to see people suffer and even died when you know they don’t need to ..
I know its all about FREE WILL & personal CHOICES .. & I know their choices have nothing to do with me … but is solely their own fear based choice … their power having been handed over to the establishment and all their conversation .. is illness .. pills n potions .. a kinda joy in talking about aches n pains … having more than the next person and a weird senseless love in the chemical sweeties that bit by bit are draining them of their own life force … ooo & NO I haven’t said that out loud .. its just what I see happening …
There has been some times lately where I’ve felt totally exhausted form it all … with a spinning completely non-comprehensive mind …. as to why would someone choose pain over feeling great ..
Then yesterday I was told this story … or I was asked if I had ever seen a dragon fly larvae …. to a discussed grimace … well they look a little like the alien in alien ..so I can get the look ..LOL ..
Then I was asked if I had ever seen one come out of its larva stage and unfurl into the magnificent beauty of a full dragon fly … … and I must say .. I’ve seen them just before and just after but ever in person been lucky enough to witness the whole transformation …
So it was explained to me … from crawling up a long straw …. slowly .. oh so slowly wiggling loose from the larvae housing ..stretching out … and unfurling wings .. stretching and drying them …. and eventually lifting off in all its glory … flying ….
As I said OH wow … what a beautiful experience … she said ..well No ..after all that a sparrow came .. swooped in and snap him up for lunch …
Apart form an OH … I had no words … but it told me everything heart needed to know …. her shadow side ..the sparrow .. destroying the healing transformation that could have been hers in flight … if she could but control her shadow (fear) ..she could heal and be whole.
For me there was also a deep seeing that was pointed out to me later … there had been many sparrows in my life … & now it was beyond time to let go all sadness for other peoples choices … & just VALUE … Appreciate & Flow with Confidence in ME ..
Focus on the beyond marvellous & Wondrous .. the wonder of all those who will travel the world for healing with me …& all the Amazing Beauty that is always all around …. Focus on those that choose LOVE … & let all the rest be swept on by on the winds of change … until maybe one they they might be ready too.
Letting the LOVE shine freely ❤
PEACE can only come through FORGIVENESS … when we release all that binds us to negativity… forgiving Ourselves for all we have allowed .. especially all the outside opinions thats caused .. self-sabotaging behaviour … & kept us feeling less than
When we look at the world we can see how unforgiveness feeds the suffering all around … FORGIVENESS is the KEY to FREEDOM … LOVE & PEACE . . . and it starts with each one of us .. Like with all BLESSED TRANSFORMATION it springs forth & blossoms from the inside out
We can Spread PEACE LOVE & BEAUTY around ALL & our Wondrous Mama Earth with every BREATH we take IT’S ALL IN THE CHOOSING the WISHING .. & the MAGIC
& in LOVE ❥∞
Sound advice on many things in life is say … Terry Pratchett’s guide to eating mushrooms
1 all mushrooms are edible
2 some are edible only once
Alice in Wonderland Shroom 😉 … Reminds me a wee bit of Life’s Drama … pretty to the eye it might be … but …best avoided so to speak, less you want another scorching or shattering so to speak… & besides choosing to give our focus to the Real LOVE & Beauty in our lives makes our days so much more Magical.
Like meeting Ganesh ..remover of obstacles as a shroom in the woods … now I wouldn’t recommend eating his gel like self either growing on dead wood as they do, but they sure have some beautiful shapes … well nature always does 🙂 .. Well Ganesh here in the woods was a little wee sign for me that the obstacle course of my past, was indeed just that … a thing of the past … I had moved on
Its Magical that way forgiveness … when you have let go with LOVE from so deep inside that you’ve gone past the space of wanting to even look back …. your FREE & never look back cause you neither need nor want to.
Thats when LIFE really starts ❤
GRATITUDE day 5
but first cause how does one only choose 3 things anyways 🙂 LOL … the jewel like orb on the feather here was playing around me along most of the walk a few days ago .. in & out of others & rainbow light … Angel & Mama Nature’s Blessings … this little beauty was with us all the way around a 2+ hour walk in the woods ❤ …. I always feel so blessed 🙂 & so Grateful for everything …all the time really so this 5 days of sharing only 3 things a day .. I don’t think its ever possible to run out of NEW things to be GRATEFUL for ..add all the other stuff too the daily HEARTS in clouds & nature & even when I drop things .. like hand cream in the kitchen sink …. well I get hearts … spill my coffee and I get hearts LOL ..just hearts everywhere all the time in all ways …
Signs of Nature & LOVE LIGHT ..CREATIONS Magic just everywhere all the time 🙂 … you just gotta allow the eyes to see what the heart knows is there ..that’s it … that all there really is to it honest 🙂 … well the inner peace from a still mind helps 😉 but choosing to still calm and BE is a beautiful first step … it lets all that our hearts knows flow to our eyes ears & feelings .. helps expand the LIGHT within ❤ ..So GRATITUDE ..wishing the same for you ALL Wonderful’s … it makes the heart grow so beautifully 🙂 overflow with JOY ❤ … Hope you’ve all felt the wonder of writing down some of what makes the LOVE flow in Gratitude’s flow for you .. keep shining ❤
so .. last day 🙂 ….. here goes … I am Grateful for … :
1. the gift and ability that let’s me feel the lightness & JOY in & of a Buzzards flight by holding his blessing of a feather in my hand … a sensitivity .. now a blessing indeed .. that I used to call a curse .. because around people .. especially before I learnt to shield and protect myself ..it really did let me feel far to much .. the POWER of FORGIVENESS would do many so much good.. cause the feelings of anger hatred resentments jealousies are YUCKY draining and beyond horrid on the outside .just feeling the presence of these stuck and hardening emotions … so what they do to folks on the inside is a scary thought indeed to me .. … AHA but more important … the deep connection to mama earth that this sensitivity allows for …is WOW & so far beyond Wondrous … so always BLESSED … Always In GRATITUDE to SOURCE & ALL that IS …THANK YOU .. I LOVE YOU ❤
2. for Knowing the beautiful POWER of complete FORGIVENESS ..& the expansion of LOVE it brings that settles as solid & unrockable …stable INNER PEACE … to BE & share with ALL …. The FREEDOM our HEARTS experience with true and complete forgiveness … and the space it leaves for only TRUE & REAL LOVELIGHT to be present within .. & that well that just EXPLODES outwards .. overflows … you just gotta hope its contagious.
3. For Clean Air to breathe … CLEAN ENERGY … FREE Energy … cause its coming … The AWAKENING ..its growing … we the people ..more and more of us are awakening .. and seeing that the only fear … is being spread by the fish dangling on hooks so to speak that our governments and big business are … on hocks reeled by those who pay them to rob humanity … the 13 as I have always felt and know them … the root of GREED ..FEAR based .. through their own fear of loosing POWER they and those before them … have kept the people in lack and fear through centuries …denying us the wisdom NS KNOWING THAT ALL COMES FROM WITHIN ….. ALL IS US … WE ARE LIKE CREATOR AND WE ALL HOLD THIS SAME RESPONSIBILITIES … OUR POWER IS THE POWER ….Once we stand firm in our own complete personal responsibility … in LOVE … in CREATIONS universal laws of LIFE …. WE FLOW & PROSPER …. THROUGH HEART … A SHARING & EXPANDING LOVING world … & RICH IN ALL WAYS WE BECOME … … Our birthright is to know all we are … to BE complete within this human body … to allow our SOUL to fully live though the physical we must release the illusion of fear ..and step into the LOVE of all that IS
The AWAKENING is at over 54% now & RISING … & these awakened are participating consciously in Mama Earth’s Ascension … raising our vibrations ..as Mama Raises her’s 🙂 … These days …. two worlds are inhabiting this planet … through all our human choices … either to stay in the illusion of fear ..& keep giving their power away ………. Or …. of LOVE .. letting GO all fear … KNOWING that LOVE is ALL and the connection to SOURCE LIGHT that opens within ..shows us TRULY just how POWERFUL WE ALL ARE !!!!!!!!
Always much LOVE ❤
GRATITUDE day 4 … So much I am Grateful for …. so the 3 for today :
2. for FREEDOM … no one can cage a Heart & Soul …unless we let them .. our bodies yes .. but never our true essence .. our minds HEARTS & SOUL … so SEEing TRUTH ..BEing TRUTH .. Honest & Loving to ourselves & ALL this FREEDOM can be used for some MAGNIFICENT CHOICES
3. & for just BEing ME .. with the FREEDOM & an open Heart .. to make the CHOICE to just BE … Me & in that choice is the FREEDOM of ALLOWING ALL to just BE .. express & share … & enjoy the diversity … the beauty of everyone’s individuality … creation and expression …
Always much LOVE
There is NO death .. Leaving this world is just a change of vibrations ..soul stepping out of the physical shell ..just being its TRUE LIGHT form
Death as an end a loss is part of the illusion that feeds fear .. the wheel of Drama .. karma .. There is no end .. We are ETERNAL SOULS …here to WAKE UP & BRING LIGHT THROUGH the density of matter …
All is LOVE LIGHT / Energy / God particles / Sourcelight .. How we CHOOSE to CREATE & expand with that ..is this human journey ..
My First experience of a someone .. passing into light … separating from his body and .. light body /soul stepping out was my Pappa … It’s given me a life long deep inner Peace … an inner PEACE of knowing that there is no death.. We are ETERNAL SOULS … physical death is merely a transition to another dimension …. and there are many on our soul’s path.
I was 6 & 1/2 years old the night my Beloved Pappa left his physical body.. we had pretty much spent every waking moment from I was born till that moment together…he was pretty ill with cancer … the doctors never understood how he lasted as long as he did … he was walking enigma to them .. mamma was heavily into herbs so she made weird and wonderful concoctions for him .. these kept him pain free and balanced ..…also he said it was my unconditional LOVE and the magic in mine and mamma’s hands & his deep LOVE for me that keep him here … the night he died he made me make some promises … well those of his human self before his soul light stepped out of his body .. because I took them so seriously… kept me at the place where I allowed far to much to be put upon me, but the talks with the SOUL were precious beyond measure … this experience has helped shape my entire life … ME ..all I am … although I’ve done most of it the hard way ..
Well the first of these promises … was never to fight cancer or illness or anything really, but merely LOVE it away … LOVE it BETTER … Only the loving from a deep deep place within your heart and soul can make anything better……………….
The second… and this has been a huge responsibility in my life… as when we are kids we take everything completely 100% literally … I was to look after my mamma .. be nice always show compassion ..and make sure my brother & sister did not cause her to much pain … sadness & loss ….
When I was born my brother was 21 and sister 18… This was the start of my brother being pushed out of the family sort of … well by himself, he took mamma for every penny .. her home.. everything.. well been and gone ..and between her soul and his, and me I guess being pushed and held under by 2 frightened … bitter and angry women.. neither wanting to see or accept responsibility for their shadow sides … or their though… and feeling choices …and both were exceptionally good at the poor me … watching them was like … really … seriously … again ??????? The dramas were always playing out around me in one way or another … I got exceptionally good at being the little grey mouse … not seen or heard .. just there to clean up all the messes really .. YIKES … but thats a different story … although I stuck it out so long because the experience with Pappa’s passing to light .. it was so important … I just kept hoping that they would hear me and choose better … higer choices fro themselves and all … but .. well ..
So .. hmmm … thing is … whenever I try to put words to those aspects of my life ..it always sounds like some bad version of the classic Cinderella story, but without the prince or the fairy godmother … which really is kinda funny really … even when I look back at the times when I practically begged the Angels & Guardians to Please please take me home .. let me BE only LIGHT again too … when daily comments of….. “you look OK from the back” … or when I just couldn’t do right for doing right …or enough ..no matter how much I did …. just got way to much and I felt like crumpling into nothing and just letting mama earth swallow me ….
Those are the times when Pappa came.. like on the night he died … I lay next to him holding his hand and we talked of him leaving with the angels … we talked of life .. love .. understanding .. honour and integrity …. up until then these had been our subjects .. he read to me everything from Plato & Pythagoras to through modern thinkers and music … He showed me how to rewire and work on or with electric appliances .. and some plumbing etc he said mamma would need someone with the skills …
The only game we really played was chess .. which I loved and he played the violin to me .. beautifully mesmerizing :)…… As we were lying there talking it felt like his body turned into two bodies .. a warm hand in mine and a cooling one at the same time… then the warm hand body sat up ..took my hand completely and we moved to a big comfy chair we always sat in … there we continued our chat with me tucked up on his lap for hours …
He explained that all the lights and light beings all around us were Angels and Guardians and they were always with me and always would be .. that the twinkles in the air that I always saw .. like glitter dancing in the air around people ..trees plants well all of nature really and all souls ….was life-force energy form the source of all there is .. and so long as I kept breathing it in and all around …all would be well … He apologized for putting so much on my young shoulders being the peacemaker and preventing the negativity from other lifetimes taking over this time too …would not be easy, but he said he knew I could .. He said he and the Guardians and Angels would always be close so I would never be alone… & I never have been …
It opened my mind to great possibilities and a huge amount of reading most of which was on esoteric subjects ..which all freaked out my mother.. so having a key and doing my own ting was definitely advantageous … I learnt how to keep my light shining but with only very little showing… cause there was so much fear in those around me
The inner knowing and profound teachings that were placed within me I’ve done my best to live by and find out more about… Its been a tough but very interesting journey … & I am immensely grateful for all the lessons .. All of which where lessons on balancing inner and outer energies & forgiveness… & with every one my soul could get further into this body … releasing and cleansing in the process ….
The most important though … the WOW for me that has so totally kept me .. being just ME .. choosing LOVE always .. always FORGIVING everything and everyone … choosing to see the higher option .. the light in all always … was seeing .. feeling and being with him …his human self on the passing … his LIFE REVIEW … the things he regretted … to sadness and pain he had to feel what all he had done in life had done to another … had made another feel like … a humbling and shocking and beyond WOW to how important our THOUGHT … WORDS & ACTIONS ..ALWAYS are … because before we go we have to feel everything … and that no little thing .. its HUGE … & it was the main reason I tolerated so much … spent so long as Cinderella in servitude …
Why …. cause I hoped that in being GRATEFUL for the AIR .. EARTH ..LIFE ..PEACE … and all the little things … and having the ability to turn shabby well junk into chic and classy with ease .. maybe hopefully one day they would see .. hear me all I tried to share with them .. that all they were doing was creating more and more karma for themselves … that being honest and living in TRUTH .. honourably was the only REAL LOVE … was the only real way to flow ..and to truly be rich in all ways … well they .. the family / boggarts … I do love that word .. its so much more fitting and makes looking back at lessons leant really funny .. so there is never anything lost ..or sad really … cause eventually .. we all just have to accept all other peoples choices and if they do not vibrate at our rate … but cause us pain then we must remove ourselves … its the only way … its the most honourable really .. just allow all to be themselves … but we must go and do what is fro our own and for all’s highest good …
Well must … hmmm I feel I must … and we must … it all in the BEING the CHANGE we wish to see in this world of ours … but … each person on this planet must chose fro him or her self … the animals and nature all chose LOVE and PEACE ..and are changing accordingly … balancing to the ascension of mama earths with ease … magical Wondrous Nature … so easy really .. humans I find are so much slower … but so many now are catching up … I am so GRATEFUL for this … all the awakening soul sister and brothers out there 🙂 … all the awakening into the acceptance of complete personal responsibility … I honour and bless you all ❤ THANK YOU for your precious selves ❤
Well … more about the LIGHT .. and there being NO DEATH 🙂 …. & I guess also more of the BLESSING of FORGIVENESS …… 4 years ago my mother passed away … 14 years before that she came to live with me as my sister threw her out of the house they had bought together..Unfortunately mamma had refused to use my x’s solicitor … she wanted to trust … yet again … made it 2 for 2 really … so one broken and angry mother came to me … to be fixed and set free.
…IT took a little while , but the releasing and forgiveness was life changing .. My mother and I never had an easy relationship.. she was to angry to be left on her own with me … and never a day went by without some comment or other … her favourite being … well its unfortunate really, but you look all right from the back… not bad in itself .. but when you’ve been told how fat and ugly you are most of your life ..its enough … and I was not fat nor ugly as a kid .. teen or well young … till it all got to much and my body took over the protection .. to hide me away … but wrote about part of that a few days ago .. so … right
So yes my mamma at some point in the time here with me … she opened to the angels and was fascinated by orbs and fairies &UFO’s …I learn’t to know my mother as someone who cared deeply for the environment herbs animals etc .. all she really wanted was to Love & be loved .. but she had so much anger resentment and bitterness, that it just didn’t come out of her that way … to much pain .. in bitterness to get through first … but we got there eventually ❤
Although not completely until the last couple of weeks of her earth life … when the angels started to let her see them.. and the loved ones already on the other side of the veil stared arriving… even the animals she had had … all came … she keep saying to me ..
Marianne you didn’t tell me everything… there is so much more … its so much more beautiful than you ever told me… in those last two weeks the Love that came in and around her .. well in the whole house… It was so strong that it just transmuted everything into LOVE…
The vibrations and the sound/music were so intense it was impossible to hide my light ..and besides even at full blast it was dim compared to so many light beings .. the feeling of LOVE & GRATITUDE from them all is something so amazing.. more Beautiful than the most breathtaking views of nature .. Stronger than gale force winds on high seas.. Maybe a tsunami would be the best word, but even that isn’t strong enough … the LOVE was /is so much more …..
& we’re lucky enough to live in a time when its available to us all the time not just when we are on our way home, but all the time … Creations light and beauty expanding into more and more LOVE LIGHT all the time .. Vibrations going up and up and up …. and if that isn’t beyond WOW & Magical … I dont know what is 🙂
Always much LOVE Maia ♥❤
Walking with LOVE … in LIFE
On a path of an open HEART from childhood really … Shamanic and HEALING from teens … Deeply Forgiving … always forgiving everything and everyone … Understanding & Accepting of ALL .. through out my 40 sommat years …
This last year being in the same space as my Heart Soul mate …Andreas has yet again on this journey of life … opened profound and deep healing … to levels /depths I didn’t even know I had… Each of us full and whole … complete flames … in our own right …. our Flames entwined and expanding … leaving no rock unturned or unbalanced .(twin Flame(s)my own views / feelings on that though have definitely proven correct , so lots to share on that front ..soon as I get it written properly that is.. ;)) …
Its been a bit like …OH Goood G ( Golly 😉 & Gosh 🙂 if I had not forgiven everything and everyone with such ease through life .. no matter how bad it was .. I really would NOT BE HERE NOW …. No it would have all been way to much …. My Heart & Compassion has been stamped and trampled on to such a degree that if I was one of those Japanese old crocs .. broken and prepared lovingly with gold gluing together the broken pieces … there would only be gold showing … none of the broken pieces at all … cause repair upon repair has over lapped and overlapped …. so much that the LOVE LIGHT in my HEART that kept repairing itself .. is ALL thats left … & thats quite an amazing discovery … SO GRATEFUL
& so GRATEFUL for this last year …. SO GRATEFUL for my HEART Mate ( Heartmate I’ll get to describing it in a post or two soon ..as its not soul mate or twin flame or really any of all that I’ve seen waffled about online although there is some beautiful … honourable and truthful sharing out there …… but its so much more … Now I might be fluffy to some but I don’t do fluff as such … I like simplicity …. just straight forward no nonsense kinda thing .. NOW NATURE … yip mama earth she knows .. no fluff there .. she just IS .. Nature she’s sold and sure and LOVE … CREATION … ALL … so yip … oh … a another post … cause I’ll get myself way of track 🙂 )
Right where was I … YES …GRATEFUL for this time together … and for his amazing capacity to cope with floods … although they have been healing for us both … topics dont come up only one side so to speak 🙂 .. .but darn all that’s come out of me we have been close to needing the flipping ARK … tears of shock revelations … tears of sadness … tears for all the beauty that could have been ..if only others chose awake … and not drama … yikes … & tears of Gratitude … for feeling the LOVE & Compassion from someone else …
Feeling the LOVE & Compassion given freely … the way I’ve always given it … but had no idea Id never felt what it felt like ot be shown .. given … recieve … this amazing magic of Complete Compassion& unconditional LOVE … friend or foe I know how to give it … but RECEIVING it has at times been overwhelming to say the least …. .. MOST BEAUTIFUL & AMAZING … but overwhelming in so far that I’ve been seeing just how few crumbs I was grateful for … & just how extreme those rose coloured glasses I wore was …. not to mention how many layers they had …
This was also in a big way .. even more insight into … the armour (body) I had built up …… how and why I could posible stay so big .. cause for years I was hardly eating at all … I could not .. first because I felt dreadful on the pill back then and almost doubled my bodyweight (about 24 or so years ago) …. and that all happened in less than 6 months … SHOCKING..
So for years I blamed the pill .. and the heart ache around trying to get some help from the doctors to help myself … but way to shocking for doc’s too … because there was no medical explanation that they would except .. and they refused to see that it was the pill … or even to look into it really … I was just totally ignored and put down …. & not eating because pill made me feel sick and even as if I was on high seas all the time …. Silly to keep taking it …OH YES .. but I kept taking it because it was important to me not to get pregnant with an alcoholic partner at the time … Well that was a BIGGIE in that relationship ( but thats yet again another topic … darn its one of those days again … all coming up to be written I guess … so I best get on with it 🙂 …. well after no more pill and going vegan ..raw super health freak …. well I already was in a way … but went to super extreme you could say … to fix me ……. body and me at war so to speak … hmmm well ..
The ARMOUR though … was EMOTIONAL .. all FEELING based …..because I always felt sickish.. well at times really sick and even vomited … by being around some.people and their drama … so not eating before being near them was my coping mechanism … only way I could stand it …. now I never wanted to be sick … I used to try everything not to be … so didnt even fit into any of the eating disorders … but I did a fair amount of in depth research before I was satisfied with that conclusion …. getting a Diploma in Nutrition and a 3 year teacher training course in Yoga .. being Vegan …. eating mostly RAW … and nothing helped me loose weight …. It was Crazy really .. and talking about it was a nightmare too … or should I say being lectured on it … my weight that is … cause all would …. rant and rave on about how disgusting I was and how I obviously knew nothing … when it turned out I knew more than they did … it turned to anger and I was accused of lying …. over and over … so I stopped responding & just went quiet …
The weight ARMOUR … was my BODY’s way of PROTECTING ME … from all the huge hits my HEART kept taking …… when my heart believed in love compassion and sharing … TRUSTing .. and always hoping … for honour and integrity … a keeping of words … a possibility they would be being nice & honourable … keeping promises this time … which never came …..
My Cinderella with out the prince or fairy godmother self which I “sarkily” call that period of my life …… I have stepped out of .. and left it FAR behind ….but Looking at my life … I wonder how I managed to stay ME .. stay LOVING … stay TRUE to my HEART … … cause my supposed role models when young … all around me was …. greed anger and hatred ..jealousies .. bitterness ..sadness … all hidden in a thin veneers of drama filled love … YUCK … & I knew it … it always felt wrong …. but it was… just that … family its supposed to be sharing and caring … NO so not always the case … being tooooo sensitive I guess … feeling everything … knowing the underlying truth … seeing it …and also seeing and honouring everyones path .. where they were on it at any given time …. hmmm and accepting that …
I used to joke that I must be allergic to my family through late teens and 20’s … HA ..as it turned out … I was … or well to the hurt … with all the forgiveness I never even noticed really .. that the pain of their words and actions that I laughed at or with …sat deep within my cells … and my body knew … remembered and responded to all the shit … in the only way it knew how …. padding … protection … hide … make ARMOUR … If .. it /my life … had been a cartoon it would have been funny … OOO & also .. the scene in Harry potter when he blows up his aunt … she pops out like a balloon … well it was a bit like that … only not light … but heavy as … shocking to the system to gain so much weight so fast … like water pouring in ..liters and liters every day ..and solidifying … freezing up like stone …
Well the weight … the Armour …. I still have some left .. but its going with LOVE & just BEing .. no diet …apart from LOVING everything ❤ ….. this last year though much slower ..but thats been mainly because I’ve kept almost shocking myself over and over with realisation after realisation …. of just how much I held for way to many and for way to long ….
+ the whole being thrown other peoples messes to clean up too … the real big life altering messes they so happily made and guess who was left holding the flipping bag … Oh my … … really life can take you some places … Well somehow always flowing with what was … doing what was necessary …. required and putting broken people back together again … including my own mum …. but I must say mum being thrown out of her home by my sister & co just as I was wrapping my head around all this … body blowing into ballooooooon in a mega way thing … nearly 20 years ago … didn’t make it easy .. Mum’s bitterness and anger at what had been done to her … was hard work indeed … but somehow with a lot of learning along the way …. with LOVE & FORGIVENESS … wrapped in Compassion … sharing my healing gifts … helping others help themselves … helping them feel good ..well and happy …. has made every aspect however though .. of a long journey .. into valuable lessons …
well in the 3 Years after my mother passed into light … I released oooo so much … & I went from this … :
to this :
while eating stuff I had not even dreamed of touching more than on a rare occasion for most of my life …. opted for eating EVERYTHING …. Yip I’ve been loosing weight eating chocolate crisps and pizza 🙂 LOL .. well not only obviously 🙂 … but whenever I wanted …
The KEY … JOY … LOVE …. so … having gotten this key .. early on in life … and tried everything … and then some …. but I didn’t quite have the inner VALUE of me in order …. so … my body only heard my thoughts and words about myself and all the words and shit from others …. so mega ARMOUR it was
Standing up to some of the most intimidating bullying imaginable … well threats from brother about knowing people who would pop my knees … destroy them … and me … was lets just say interesting ….. it restarted after a break of almost 2 years …after mum left our realm I hoped that it was all over .. but no .. but I talked about this a couple of posts ago … so no need to repeat myself …
The bullying had some breaks in between through the years .. when my brother 22 years older than me … was being nice instead of mean to me … there was obviously something he wanted from me … Well my Final stand … to Finally standing up to him and all of them … (the boggarts ) … stepping away …. was the best thing I have ever done for me in my life … It was the final and extreme / complete release of all old and not beneficial in my life ….
It left it pretty bear though … people wise … I must say … cause well when your down or running on empty etc. … you know that saying … then you will really know who your real friends are … ITS TRUE … or even better ..learn to say NO … and .. watch he slink away …. or juicier … ask for help where you have given so much … and in my case …. it felt a bit like …OOOOO we’re playing hide and go seek …. Yep … I so dont think so ….
Really I start to VALUE myself like I’ve always VALUED ALL … and … vamos … I tell ya … not even a magician could have hidden a rabbit in a hat that well 😉 YIKES … but awesome really … cause darn there was /is room for so much MAGIC in my LIFE NOW ….
& Magic in LOVE too …. but yes … having done soul work … Void travels from over 20 years .. so much inner work …. I have been again surprised at just how much … there was still inside of me …. & that there was some FORGIVING still to do … of MYSELF for ALLOWING all I allowed … and just accepted bad behaviour ..cause it was just how they were so to speak … it became so normal that it didn’t even stick out … it just was ….
So never forget …… ALWAYS :
VALUE Yourself …
FORGIVE Yourself …
BLESS Yourself …
& don’t forget to share the Magic ..There is only LOVE & WE ARE ALL ONE ..