trust …

Teach me how to trust my heart… my mind… my intuition… my inner knowing… the senses of my body… the blessings of my spirit… teach me to trust these things so that I may enter my sacred space & love beyond my fear… & thus walk in balance with the passing of each glorious sun… ❥∞

Lakota Prayer

for some time  .. this has again taken regular perusal .. the whole TRUST thing  … and wandered through my thoughts in varying degrees and depths to the pondering  ..

I have always  given so very freely my hearts knowing … never held back if I knew something that could help another .. or had something  … I would always share .. Its what my HEART knows LOVE is .

Like the perfect Heart Clouds that turn up in my day everyday .. & well hearts in all shapes n sizes really  … little daily glimpses that I’m on the right path … This last year has seen more leave my life .. no be removed by me from my life is a far more appropriate term … a removal of myself from some I thought were long time friends .. now removing myself from what was “family” was one thing … easy in a way cause it had been so obvious for so very long that for me ..their drama was most toxic.

but now the friends thing … now finally seeing the energy theft there … the piggybacking on my energy body … that was somewhat shocking  … horrifying and had me thinking I had finally lost the plot … cause surely it couldn’t be … the heavy horrid feeling that came over my back .. so heavy that I it took great effort to put one foot in front of the other … and the squeezing of my heart centre .. that made me so short of breath  … I had to force myself to take  long walks in the woods .. to come out and away from it because I knew it was not mine …

I had had this a lot in my life …. mostly I knew I was holding something that someone had dumped or refused to acknowledge …. so cleared it and cut cords and balanced … on and on and so on … Knowing through all this that my true nature … my true self … felt light as a feather  grounded and whole … not to forget high on LOVE LIGHT … and always pleased to share the blessings … in all ways from a thought of healing blessings to strangers I pass on the street or at the checkouts at supermarkets  .. through stroking an animal that comes on up to say hello because it knows and feels its pain or something will ease …. or just cause they feel the energy and come to acknowledge it  in a mutual blessing  .. either way the four legged and feathered friends are always mirroring and sharing back the LOVE Blessings .. which just makes them stronger and stronger ..and more and more amazing … humans I find are mostly fairly detached from this natural sharing ..and enhancing of energies so it can be a rather more draining experience ..

Of cause it does not have to be so …. but that takes being wake ..aware .. and present  … and as drama free as possible  … now all this is nothing new … its what I’ve know to be so most of my life … so this last year ..thats been filled with all those things I so easily forgave others … that I’d never dealt with the pin of in my own heart .. not to mention I never dealt with the pain of in my own body ….  with the major cord cuttings and burning all old bridges and all that no longer served my highest good  …. including 20 something years worth of journals and writings … several times in the last few years  … new AHA’s and oo my ooo my that too’s … Its been a bit like removing the veils .. one by one …. always thinking its the last one …

 

 … it was more a feeling of boundaries being stampeded … well I tend to say yes and help when I can .. but Im getting very alert to the one way systems … 

 

after Andreas looked at me and said ..he never gave energy vampireism a chance any more .. when I just looked at him he said ..jealousy … real loud ..and don’t accept it

 

 I have two dosies …. 1 know for over 28 years  .. when mum got sick I petty much passed on all my client to her and one other … I was busy … within a year she had none … but what shocked my heart so very deeply ..and hurt more than I care to mention .. she sat here and said she had turned away client cause she was not doing that right now … 

I was struck silent you could say ….apart form why did you not give them my name /number ? she proceeded to tell me that she might take up things again and it was good to have people that phones … at which point all I could think feel was ?????   and more ????? .. then she said ..ooo are you still doing your little healing thing ?????? … SO basically knowing that the family ripped me off for everything and knowing she had all my business … and even though she did not want to or were doing healing any more .. she would not return the favour so to speak  …. OOO some friend …. NOT

and just to top it off a few weeks after this … she rang and wanted me to do her a favour … finding out that that favour I could not do … the only reason she herd was that .. part of what she wanted was among the things that had been taken from me … she said she would drive me out there to get some of my things back … ????????????????????? when I said I want  my money if anything .. not damaged goods … she just repeated herself …. which made the conversation seem surreal in so many ways … 

& left me sitting … wondering how I had for so many years considered her closer than a sister … once I shifted myself from under the weight of that …. the heaviness lifted … interestingly every time I cut cords …. she attempts to contact still ..

I’m still reeling at the realisation of it all … and the shock really at how it could take me so long to acknowledge this … that every time I raised my vibration … it became a heavier and heavier physical discomfort of my body ..  

I forgave instantly of cause .. its what I do ..its who I am …. but this time my BOD did the whole letting me really feel totally steam rolled .. tired … ouchy … and just plain flat …. I took myself through all and every possibility .. more than once … before I finally let my thought go there …. and really see it … feel it … and then I could but wonder just why and how I had not noticed. 

Andreas has been most patient with my perplexed wondering’s  at how I cold not have noticed this .. knowing all that I know …. doing what I do … his holding space for healing as only a true heart mate could or would  has allowed deeper and more profound healing than I could have ever imagined ….. He just simply said … you have an extremely kind heart …

I have learnt yet again that I must never doubt my intuition … not even .. or especially not when there is something I’d rather not see …. when my assumption has been ..they are like me … speak truth and live it  … and would never dream of taking energy from anywhere but source … were it is freely given to all at all times … we just have to connect  ❤ but each and everyone of us have to do that separately … and then share to enhance it … grow the energy … heighten the vibrations more and more  … 

the one way system … of  drama … vampirism and energy theft has to end …. its a cruel ..mean ..and horrid game .. of dread and pain …. in a constant circling of ..  never enough and there being no such thing as truth  … its just to sad … all this living in fear … 

when from source … and mother earth there is only truth …  and there is more then enough energy for all of us here on earth at this time … to get a thousand times more than we need  … so there is no need for the drama … if all would all connect to source within ❤ the knowing that LOVE is all there is .. flows and bubbles in and through to surface in all and everything ❤  thats a blessing beyond most peoples conception  … IT has to be felt to be know ❤ 

I wish that blessings for all ❤

Always mcu LOVE ♡❥  Maia